Mama, I am in my fifth decade, and I know that all I have become, all the chances and opportunities, the kindness and love I give and receive is because of you, my hero.
We were eight, blessed with a mother who raised the bar on motherhood.
What Rachael Barbara Bacchus achieved in her lifetime is incomparable.
Mama, you are my anchor, my foundation. You will always be my present, my past and my future.
Because of you and your life’s experiences I have gained the strength to be me. I measure every hardship I encounter against yours and I tell myself…mama survived, so shall I.
You are a warrior mama, you were asked to walk the gauntlet many times in your life, and you walked it.
And yet, they could never take your love and kindness away from you.
You said when you looked at us, your heart smiled in joy. Oh mama, if I could have a minuscule amount of your strength, I could own the world.
You took the beating; if those proverbial beatings could be seen on your back ,there would be ropes of scars, knotted and raised.
Today, your fragile little body, your stooped back tells the tale of what you have triumphed over. You kept us safe, fed us well, and kept our minds and bodies healthy.
I remember the times when you would deny yourself morsels of food because it would be one grain less for us.
You always let us drink first, eat first, sleep first before you sipped, ate or slept.
You have pled, begged and bled for your eight, never for yourself. Your pride in and for us carried each and every one of your children through life. You set us up with tools to navigate this wild and cruel world, and I thank you from the core of my soul, mama.
Your prayers were a litany, an outpouring of love and gratitude to God for your children. You prayed for each and every one of us day after day, night after night, for nigh on seventy-five years.
I know mama, ninety years is enough, you did it all, and then some.
You always said “It was my job to do for my children, I lived for them.” Your words, “No matter where in the world my children were, when the phone rang and I heard their voice, my heart sang.”
I am in my fifth decade, and I know that all I have become, all the chances and opportunities, the kindness and love I give and receive is because of you, my mama.
You taught us well…because of you…I strive to be kind…I am giving…I am loved, and I love with my whole heart. Because of you, I am the best nurturer I can be.
Because of you we love music, we love books, we love the stories in lyrics, and the travelling far and wide in words. Because of you, we are.
Because of you…we rescue anyone in need, and we never seek gratitude for it.
Because of you we found a higher being to believe in no matter what religious or spiritual path each and every one of us chose to take. Because of you…we feed stomachs and souls.
Because of you I know when to give a helping hand and I know when to let go, I know how to love and I know how to laugh, and because of you I never give up on life, on hoping for a better way. Because of you mama, I am the epitome of what love is.
The bond you instilled in your eight is like a silken thread of solid gold, strung together from one soul to the next holding us together no matter how far and wide we may go, no matter what we believe, that bond, that unbreakable bond is the blood of us, the nine of us held together for eternity.
Now two of them are gone, and you have left us too, mama. Your broken heart could bear no more. I miss you but I know you had to go, you were so tired.
You are not here physically, but mama, I feel your love encompassing my very soul, I have your strength.
You have passed the torch to me, and I will never give up. Just like how you never gave up on yourself because you could never give up on us.
Your last words to us mama, were the words we grew up with…
I love you. Don’t cry. I love you.
Your voice went straight to God’s ears, our whole lives. He knows us because you prayed for us; for our safety, healing, success and strength.
At the end, I watched you smile at your heavenly sight, I watched you light up for my two brothers you missed so much. You left us as peacefully as you lived, one gentle final breath and you slept on for eternity.
The grief is real but gentle like you, mama, because even as you were leaving us, even as your body was exhausted, even as your soul was tired and you wanted to go home to him, your heart kept going for us. You only left when you knew we were ok to let you go.
You lived kind and gentle, you left this world kind and gentle, at peace.
Your last words even when you could only whisper them will stay in my heart, my life forever. The words my mama said from the day I was born to the day she left…
…I love you.
